When is a Relationship Recognized as Marriage by God?

They live together, sleep in the same bed. They do not have a civil marriage.
Are they married?
Second example: they have a civil wedding, but they live as if they had gotten a divorce.
Are they still married in this situation?
Let’s look at this topic from the Bible’s point of view.
Is a civil wedding necessary?

The relationship of a man and a woman that meets the guidelines of God’s law constitutes marriage.
In the past, God’s servants did not need to be officially married. The case was mainly handled by the families.
A civil marriage is mainly needed for property and tax matters. In some cases, however, it will be needed to implement marriage guidelines.
When for example?
When the relationship is not recognized by family or friends as a marriage because there is no official certificate. Then, a civil wedding will be needed for the marriage to be respected by everyone:

“Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.” – Hebrews 13:4

What is marriage?
 This is the basic principle of marriage: God does not want divorces, because divorce means fights, harm, it is a lack of love, and all of these things are a departure from God's principles.

“and He also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined (2853) to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate (5563).” – Matthew 19:5-6.

Marriage is the union of a man and a woman into one spiritual organism.
What does it mean?
• They are united in obeying God’s laws.
• They are unanimous in love, that is, they love each other.
• They live in the same house.
• As one body, they sleep in one bed.
• They make love in bed.
• The husband is the head of the family.
• The husband runs his home in accordance with Biblical guidelines.
• The wife and children obey their husband and set an example of a God-fearing family.

„Wives, submit (5293) yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter (4087) toward them.” – Colossians 3:18-19.

“Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:7.

“A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.” – 1 Corinthians 7:3-4.

“Do not deprive one another — except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command.” – 1 Corinthians 7:5-6.

How to build a God-fearing marriage?
 Every marriage, just like every person, goes through trials and tests. When we were alone, we worried about ourselves, about our health, about our lives. Now, in our marriage, we have another person, and after some time, children.
 We cannot focus only on ourselves, on our lives and only care about our own comfort.
 First, we build love with our partner.
 Love is the first stage of a relationship between two people. Later comes: maintaining love, building self-respect, implementing God's laws in practice. The aim of these actions is unanimity.

We may like different food, different colors, but we cannot bow down to idols or accept the lies of this world. It will be difficult to survive in a relationship when one party believes in the world message, in the message of the main religions.
Therefore, before we get married, let’s check who the other person really is. Does he have values, does he love the truth, does he have love, does he think logically?
Or maybe he is a hidden or overt snob, an energy vampire or a dangerous narcissist. Maybe he has addictions that we cannot accept.

Love is for life… this feeling must be maintained all the time by constantly working on it. Love can turn into hate very quickly.
Let’s hope it doesn’t turn out that this beautiful fairy tale creature has nothing to offer except its appearance. Love at first sight is blind. Therefore, the sooner you wake up from this lethargy and look at your partner realistically, the sooner you will recognize who he really is.
And then the children…
And another fight; first over small things, then over irrelevant things from the past.

„Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Yeshu, the Pioneer and Perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before Him, He endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, so that you won’t grow weary and give up. In struggling against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly or lose heart when you are reproved by Him, for the Lord disciplines the one He loves and punishes every son He receives. Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline — which all receive — then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but He does it for our benefit, so that we can share His Holiness. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:1-11.

Building a family and a marriage is hard work. To bring results, you must fight with love, perseverance and faith every day.
God does not want His servants to fight, insult each other, or get divorced.
But what should we do when we suffer a marital failure?
Is it possible to get a divorce?
Does God allow divorce due to adultery?
Does God allow divorce due to spiritual betrayal when the partner voluntarily leaves the true Christ?
Check back next week for the next article:
„Can a marriage be dissolved because of the spiritual fornication of one’s spouse?”

Author: Robert Brzoza

Translator: Hubert Brzoza

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Other articles on marriage:

https://yeshu.info/post/bed-love-in-marriage-what-does-the-bible-say

https://yeshu.info/post/when-can-you-get-divorced

https://yeshu.info/post/is-your-marriage-falling-apart-how-to-save-it